DEPRESSED

(Written 23 of march)

So many demons or bad spirits or whatever you want to call them keep possessing me
Their relentless always in my face as they keep testing me
But I'm not a quitter I'll never give up oh no never
Somedays its like they win somedays they lose and my days are better
It's like a battle better yet it's a war getting worse as everyone tries to score
Somedays it's so confusing I shed tears but can't figure what I'm crying for
I can't say that each day I pray because I don't that would be a lie
But sometimes I do and when I do I pray that I would just die- why
Maybe the reason is I feel hated or unloved or maybe unwanted
The situations I go through I feel my life is no good cursed or haunted
Nobody cares and the ones who do can't do nothing for me but talk
I can't run through life so I just walk
I can't open new doors cause their closed with a chain and lock
I have a warm feeling in my chest that could have something to do with my heart
Maybe someone will shine some light in my life and get me out of the dark

Why I think

(Written 22 of march)

My thoughts never slow down never cease or give me a break
How much longer can I go on How much more can I take
I think about everything from love to hate to the events of the day
Every second to every minute to every hour how can I control my thoughts from going astray
Some say its a talent some say its a gift some say I think too much
Maybe its just my questions thats unanswered or my need for a loving touch
Give me a reason if there is one why my thoughts keep flowing
Could it be the urge to learn or the curiousity of never knowing
Give me a piece of paper and a pen and let me begin to write whats on my mind
Let me shock you with words and leave you in wonderment from every line
My mind controls my hand which controls the pen which controls the words I write
But what controls my brain that creates my dreams and thoughts that flow in the night
Again more questions with no answers which sometimes I hate and sometimes I love it
Because whatever happens in that second or minute or hour my mind takes off to think of it

God's Love

(written 3 of march 2011)

As I stand before ya'll I'm proud to be considered as a religious man
A faithful servant a hundred percent and one of God's biggest fans
I'm a changed man
It took me a couple of years to do it but I done did it man
I know that any other sinner can
If they can take out some time to understand
That God is the alpha- omega almighty and he has a plan
Something thats more better and beautiful than this bitter land
I was told that spoken words are stronger than the strongest man
A new adventure is starting filled with the sun,sea and sand
For in our thoughts and in our hearts our horizon starts to expand
As we find that passing time can somehow heal
But it's God's love that will ease the loss and sorrow that we sometimes feel
At times thats hard and you want to scream and curse
Don't fret because I bet
Things will change if you put God first

Stranger in a new place

(Written march 1 of 2011)

I'm no longer in the same place
I'm in a new scenery and around every corner there's a new face
Maybe there's a different way of living a different change in pace
How will this place turn out to be
Will I be accepted or rejected
I'll just have to wait and see
This place can be positive or negative
But it's where I choose to live
No matter what I do or where I choose to rome
Some people may call this the ghetto but it's what I call home
Just because it contains drugs and thugs I don't have any fear
The world isn't run by them so I know it's not ran by them here
Living in a new neighborhood I must confess I was afraid of what others thought
But after time and socializing- a wonderful community is what I got
A neighborhood becomes your home by what you give it
Who cares how it is it's how you live it

What's Wrong?

(Written February 23 of 2011)

Please lord forgive me for my life of sin
There's so much forgivness to ask for I don't know where to begin
How could it be through the misery that came to pass
My life of sin made it hard for me to ask
As I walk through the valley of death the devil follows me
He's always bumping into my life with no apology
We blinded and hypnotized
From struggling to survive
We taking each others lives
We drinking and smoking out
We playing it like a game
The government is who we blame
The ghetto's gonna stay the same
Unless we all wanna change

PULLED ME THROUGH

(Written January of 2011)

I took a day to search for God and found him not
Then suddenly all unaware
Far off in the deep shadows somewhere
I heard his voice upon the air
I know he hasn't left me but I feel so alone
I'm a big boy now but I'm still not grown
Satan I rebuke you for what I go through
And trying to pursuade me to do what I used to
But all that stops right here
As long as the lords in my life I shall have no fear
I should of known from the start
It feels right in my heart
My minds messeage has been sent
Telling me to turn away just repent
Away from the deadly serpent
But he's always in my face
Never giving any space
Trying to put me in his place
Constantly in a chase
For my soul at times I wanna cry
Lord come and save me
Look at all the gifts that he gave me
Now he's trying to pusuade me
And every single time that I try and do right
He's like a thief in the night
Popping up with out a clue
Giving me a decision to a deadly collision away from you
Lord I need your helping hand so you can pull me through

MY PRAYER

(Written 15 of February 2011)

Help me read between the lines
So my eyes may focus and clearly see the signs
Rest your hand upon me and guide me
Bless me with a hedge of protection so you don't need to hide me
Show me your love and teach me your ways
May your light shine on me for the rest of my days
Smile and bless us all as you hear our praise
And we know that by staying connected
That we are always being protected
I'll never deny what you can do for me
Cause I may not be what I think I should be
But I thank you God I'm not who I used to be

LIFE

(Written November of 2010)

Look inside yourself and see the true meaning
You are special and unique cause your a human being
Except who you are,respect and love yourself
Notice the greatness of difference that seperates you from everyone else
We are amazing every woman and man
Our brain we use we abuse making it difficult to understand
The planets and stars, the moon and earth
The life of a person do you have any idea what it is worth

MUST BE LOVE

(Written November of 2010)

What is that feeling that explodes and blossems from within
It forms like waves then collapses only to repeat itself again and again
The feeling that starts calm,soothing and warm
Then grows with strength in lenght then transforms into a storm
It's a beautiful feeling and a wonderful sensation
The way it takes control through the process of it's transformation
Like a catapillar changes into a beautiful butterfly
The coldness of winter changes to the warmth of summertime
The feeling that comes that's hard to explain
But we rejoyce in it's name
For what it is when it's here and when it's gone for what it was
This feeling we're all too familiar with- it's called love

MY SISTER

(Written November of 2010)

A sister's love is special in so many ways
Now miles stretch between us and minutes turn to days
We've shared so much as children the tears,the joys and the pain
A lifetime spent together those memories remain
One more year has passed on by
Don't look back keep your head held high
This year will pass as the years before
So smile at the life that you most adore
You are more than my sister you are my best friend
You are the one that will be there when my heart needs to mend
You're always there for me through thick and thin
When ever I come to you you listen
I know that you love me deep from within your heart
No matter how much we argue we cannot be drawn apart
You are always showing how much you care your filled with love
You are a beautiful angel sent from the heavens above
You are my big sister always in my heart and thoghts here's a hug and a kiss too
I love you so much always and forever your my sissy-poo

IN A HOSPITAL ROOM

(Written January of 2011)

I can hear it the prayers the cries for help even their plea
I hear it through the walls so vivid as if their talking to me
I feel the different emotions of sadness
I even feel the madness
Its all mixed together but there's joy here too
Smiles and laughter doing a great job for those who find it difficult to make it through

MY DECISION

(Written January of 2011)


It's not a coincidence
That I made this decision
It's because I have the greatest influence
I wanna turn my life over to the lord
To protect myself with his shield of love and defend myself with the holy sword
Now or never because it can be too late
I wanna walk the path of rightousness guided by fate
No more do I want to stumble at times falling and feeling pain
Like a flower I want to soak up the light like when the dirt absorbs the rain
This is my decision I'm doing it for me
I will praise the lord and show my love because I know he is worthy
Father please take my hand and guide me
I know I walk slow so please stay beside me
I've tried this before and failed myself but I'm gonna try this again
Because with your love and my love combind I know that we can win
Eternal love - AMEN

WHAT I THINK

(Written January of 2011)


I'm hanging on to one line and thats my life
I gotta know how to deal with this evil strife
Plus I live in the hood so there's evil I'm recieving
I'm caught up in the riptide thinking about seeing concequences
Always being tempted by demons thats relentless
But giving up is senseless
I've been living my life trying to survive through this struggle
One day at a time the devil's testing my muscle
Got me feeling the pain
So I write to ease the strain
And keep my faith into God to keep me from going insane
I got my mind on the world but I can't seem to figure
We can destroy this whole world but can't keep those who are ill from getting sicker

JUST THINKING

(Written December of 2010)


My life is what it is
I don't blame the place that I live
Of course its negative
But its what keeps me so highly positive
Twisting and turning
Yearning for clearer learning
My mind freezes but my heart beats quicker
Quietly I explode but expose like a picture
I can see but I'm blind in my mind
Wasting time that I can't rewind
My life is what it is after its been battered and bruised
Kicked and stepped on with steel-toe shoes
I've felt happiness a couple of times
But all I've gotten was a broken heart and a mind full of sympathy rhymes
My thoughts are nothing if not heard
But can't be heard if I don't say a word
Thats a trick my mind likes to play
Like what good is in tommorow if you don't remember yesterday

MY CRY FOR HELP

(written december of 2010)


This is my life it's what I've created
Why is it now that I'm starting to hate it
I can't change it or even debate it
The happiness I once possessed has suddenly faded
Maybe change will be in my forecast
If I take my time and not move so fast
If I ease up out of the past
Maybe happiness will last
I'm at the end of my rope
So there's nothing but hope
But will my desire expire
Before I reach the top of the slope
I have friends and family but I feel so alone
I'm a big boy now but I'm still not grown
I'm crying inside
Hiding my tears because of pride
Somebody please help me up this mountain because I'm starting to slide

A LITTLE BIT OF ME

(Written December of 2010)


My tears are bitter and warm
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because of the pain
The hurt in my heart which is hard to explain
So I wear a disquise
That plays tricks on your eyes
You see happiness but what you really see is lies
So I pour out my heart on paper with a pen
So you can read my thoughts and see how I feel from within
I don't seek pity or even sympathy
But maybe it will enter your mind from a single glimpse of me
Remember looks can be decieving
I am alive flesh and blood and blessed I'm still breathing
But I do seek some sort of affection
Hopefully I can be the spark in someone's positive direction
I write these words not for myself
But to strike the match and light the flame in someone else

CHILL WITH THE STEAL

(Written summer of 2000)


Why can't we all get along
We're not realizing what we're doing wrong
As we're among on this earth
Is this what our life is worth
To think of destruction from the day of birth
I think it hurts to know that we're the death of our own kind
Who's quick to pull a crome nine and stick it to someone's spine
Can't you see that we're heartless
Wipping out our own race we're thoughtless
Black men are our targets
And we're setting up a position
Why are we killing each other like a tradition
But are we controlled by the gun
Its just like we're dying for fun
Look at what we've done
Can't you see that we're killing the black american children
A terrible feeling that we're suddenly disappearing
And can't you see that theres no friends
So much hate its like a rivers flow it never ends
Keeping fully loaded automatics such a tragic
seeing little kids out to kill

Brothers need to chill with the steal
We're not realizing its our own kind that we always kill
We can never be labled as a sister or a brother
Cause we can't get along always out to kill each other

Its time to make a change and try to rearrange
The hearts of all mankind leaving them blind
And never remind the unkind life that they left behind
But they still wanna live they life with handguns and knives
they think its the only way to survive
As they shooting people just to prove that they hard
They not realizing little kids in the yard
They to young to understand they don't know to stand on gaurd
Come on man check it
Learn to throw your fist if you feel disrespected
Bullets are a deadly disease and little children are infected
The whole worlds connected
And we're dying young black mothers out there crying
Fathers of that child out there sending bullets flying
As they pumping on his childs chest and they trying to revive'em
All this sudden anger
Puts us all in danger
Its possible to die through the hands of a stranger

Brothers need to chill with the steal
We're not realizing its our own kind that we always kill
We can never be labled as sister or a brother
Cause we can't get along always out to kill each other

For example take five people put them all together and let them make it on their own
At first theres nothing wrong
Give'em about a month another life will end up gone
Passed on so long
The suicidal people are underestimated
Pulling triggers on people of whom they related
Suddenly hated the love faded
We need to open our eyes
Realize
The size of the problem we're facing
The hopeless dreams that we're chasing
Our population is erasing
No hesitation when it comes to putting someone in a hole
Stop their breathing free their soul
We have no commen sense
Using bullets for defense
Man this chaos is to intense

STREET LIFE

(written 2009)

We out here hustling on these streets so we can eat and risk ourselves from going to jail
These times are hell us little people got to eat so do your best not to fall and fail
Time can tell if you can make it
You see the opportunity to feed your family you better take it
They tell us to get a job but we're not able
So we try another way to put some food upon the table
Bless the food that we recieve
Father forgive us cause we're thieves
The system got us in a twist
Becoming sinners to exsist
So tell me why is this
A horrible way of livung
Knowing we are wrong when we be stealing
Still we try to find a way to survive
Can't you see the struggle in our eyes
Never thinking about the other man
Try to focus and understand
We keeping open eyes to visualize our money rise

Street Life
Stuck inside a world of hopes and fears
Street Life
We've been struggling out here for so many years
Street Life
I swear that I'd done cried so many tears
Street Life
Better days will come

Secrets are hidden within the clouds of darkness
there is no reason to give a reason because they think we're heartless
But peep the situation I'm facing
Continue chasing this money to set me free from poverty
And as long as I breath I gaurentee without a moment to rest
I'll have to struggle until my death
With every minute getting rougher
I'm way to young to stress but yet I'm known to suffer
Like every human being I'm seeing the pain
Stuck to this chain but must maintain and not strain my brain
To keep from going insane
I fantisize follow my voice inside and carry on
Trapped in the dark my fragile heart will try to be strong
I'm close to defeat
Confused and weak
From this life in the streets

WON'T BE HELD DOWN

(written Feb. 2011)

I write my thoughts down on paper to let the pain out
If I didn't have this type of outlet I'd probably try to blow my brains out
How else can I maintain in a world of madness
I can't even rest in my own mind cause its a place of sadness
My life is at a standstill at a river with no bridge to cross
Like I'm at the top of a cliff and a voice telling me to step off
But I'm hard headed and I refuse to comply
I'm not afraid of heights thats why I stand tall and keep my head held high
I will succeed cause I'll continue to try
Once a wounded bird but I'm healed now watch me fly